Sunday, August 27, 2017

Gorgon's Journal

It is high time to abandon ship, of course that's just a wishful thinking when you're under illusion of standing on moral high ground, in reality i don't do shit, i just waited, and waited for an easy way out, some miracles, self fulfilled prophecies or whatever it is that i hope it was going to be,  if this was a cancer i would've had a tomb over my juicy maggot filled rotten corpse. I need to get out, i must get out, get away from whatever this is, but then i must wait again, no i wanted to wait, maybe wait until im prepared?eh im never prepared, like i said i've done nothing.

few years ago i thought im at rock bottom, but shit keep going deeper. out of my control, i've lost touch with the world, so lost, that this is not actually a wake up call,merely just licking my wound, and i'll go back to hibernation mode. meh maybe i deserved to be drowned in the bottomless sea.

relax, this is not a suicide note, im not a some nihilistic fuck going mid life crisis and decided to end it all because shit does not sway his way, just saying im racing my own time, well am i? in this state, death is going to catch up to me eventually, not in a way that i would've imagine, like die as hero, or caught up in some conspiracy stuff that spark the revolution (not in communist way, i'd rather be in fascist memoir than filthy commie). 

boi don't this makes you feel better, now im going to get some sleep, and then wake up, play video games, eat,shit and sleep, until something came up and i start scream depression again, adios

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Is there anyone here?

Oh Hai,

2015, not a bad year, really..maybe this time i'll get a chance to climb on the ladder without much distraction. I know its late and long overdue but better than never right guys?right? well if u must ask what im babbling on right now, i am talking about my progression in life. Funny,  i actually care about myself, hah.

I literally have nothing under my name except debts until come 2014(still got debts), got a no brainer job, got little bit of this and that from the earning, get myself something i enjoy so i can ignore my feeling and thought about what people might think of me having a shitty miserable life, still a caveman4lyfe, still hates everyone. But, 2014 was refreshing a kickstarter,a slow one, i've been sank into my own depression for so long i've been rusty about life, basically i forgot how to human.

I am in my own world, in my room, on my bed, the mattress already had few broken springs, i still lie on it everyday for most hours just doing my own thing, netflix,gaming, surfing, and wanking. It's a Sanctuary,still is and nobody can hurt me in here except the mattress that already caused me serious backpain, suffered from it everyday and still keeping it until i got enough money to buy a new one.

I wanted to type more, but im too lazy right now, let us see if i ever going to visit this blog again and write stuff, i wanted to delete my old post but i figure i'll let you guys read it, it's full of shit and phony writing, back then it was a try hard, well it does sounds true enough for me at that time, but i guess i've changed. not much, just got old and grumpy as ever and i'll slap my own past if i ever saw him for writing those piece of shit. But whatever, i was never good at expressing myself though, let alone writing it down, people just can't take me seriously. Eh, bless in disguise as i don't hold much responsibility in life, my Dad said im an irresponsible person, he's not wrong, but even if i want to, who the fuck would trust me?

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Semalam Di Kota Kuchingku

Baru sampai kuching,kereta buat hal,nasib ada kawan punya kabel jumper,merajuk lantaran lama  ditinggal 2 minggu,terpaksa bawak pusing-pusing pujuk bagi ok,lepas tu bayar tidur sebab dalam bus tidak mungkin dapat tidur apabila lagu dangdut berkumandang.oh dan keesokan(sabtu malam) terus ke konsert Aizat Amdan Borneo Tour,terima kasih kepada Pihak Zakwan n Co. Advocates yang sudi menaja(ya aku mana ada duit nak layan konsert,tiket pun orang bagi,ingat aku kaya?? ). maka berbekalkan kamera aku ke sana mencari tempat di hadapan dalam Rock Zone.

Kenapa aku minat Aizat?tidak begini,aku tidaklah begitu minat tahap teras seperti peminat-peminat lain,lagu-lagu beliau memang menyentuh,dan jujur katakan aku tidak begitu kisah sehingga malam tadi merasakan irama bergenang dalam halwa telinga secara langsung.beliau juga motivasi untuk aku kuruskan badan,haha! :P

Altimet siapa tak kenal?(sila google)agak susah nak menangkap gambar beliau,tidaklah diketahui adakah kerana beliau terlalu banyak bergerak,ataupun aku yang sudah tak fokus nak ambil gambar sebab tengah syok waving my hands in the air dan melompat-lompat(tipu,aku tak lompat)habis nak buat macam mana,dah bertahun melayan lagu Syukur depan laptop,dapat tengok perform depan mata takkan aku nak jadi tripod kat depan tu?,hohoho maaf gambar kurang memuaskan dari segi noise,blur,compo dan apa apa lagi titik kesalahan yang boleh dicari,sedikit gambar yang diambil malam semalam.

Masterpiece Band,juara rentak lagu cats fm,memang bes!

Introducing Amir Jahari,from the street busking made it on stage,
good luck on your journey :)

Tak ingat la sapa nama gitaris ni,guitar straps berkilat-kilat,smart ah

Drawing love in the air

Anas Amdan,abang Aizat Amdan, cool orangnya
Altimet,tak perlu diceritakan lagi,memang ultimate performance!

dendangan lagu Kotarayaku versi Kota Kuchingku :)

Spread The Love

Dendangan Sungai Lui(versi Sape) - Aizat ft Jerry Kamit

Konsert Borneo Tour Urusan Aizat Amdan 16 July 2011

Aizat Amdan
Amir Jahari